Jane left the dojo (martial arts school) feeling uncomfortable and
confused. After her
recent divorce, her friends had told her she needed to become more
involved in out-of-the-home
activities, begin a structured exercise routine, re-establish her
self-confidence and self-esteem,
and gain some practical skills to fend for herself.
Two months earlier, she had enrolled in her first martial arts class.
At the beginning, the
instructor took little interest in Jane's progress, but as time went on,
he seemed to show her
greater attention. She assumed it was because he noticed her effort and
dedication.
Eventually, however, she noticed that his assistance increasingly took
the form of his
hand on her body, conveniently near her buttocks or breasts. Of course,
she had expected
physical contact in doing this sort of activity, but she began to grow
uneasy, and somewhat tired
of dismissing every fondle as a product of her imagination.
But this last class was her last! The instructor approached her as she
was gathering her
gear to leave. He casually put his arm around her waist with that
seemingly ever-patting hand and
suggest in a low tone that she remain after the school closed for
"private lessons."
Jane's case is typical of an approach we've seen used on more than one
occasion in over
35 years of practicing and teaching martial arts. There are some
variations on the theme--some
cruder, some more refined--but you still eventually feel cheated and
used.
If you are considering taking a martial arts class, it will probably be
one of the most
rewarding decisions of your life. As a woman, however, you should know
about the possibility of
sexual harassment in the dojo and ways to avoid it.
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ARE THEY ALL LIKE THAT?
Long-term practitioners of martial arts generally fall into one of two
categories with little
middle ground. In doing martial arts, you will encounter some fo the
finest people you will ever
meet, and you may find some of the biggest jerks you have ever seen.
Fortunately, the
overwhelming majority fall into the first category.
One characteristic of long-term practitioners is that they pursue the
art with the
zealousness and fervor of religious true-believers. They are on a
mission, and that mission is one
of sharing knowledge in an attempt to perpetuate the art. They usually
have a message that is
value-laden, and one recurring them is respect for others. The bulk of
instructors, therefore,
provide classes that are free from favoritism, belittlement, and
harassment.
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WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
To be a successful martial arts instructor, one must have the physical
ability to deliver
skills and the confidence to teach others. For some instructors, these
positive attributes
degenerate to the negative: selfish physical gratification and
ego-building.
These traits are given a vehicle for harassment in the
superior-subordinate relationship.
When the one in the power relationship abuses his authority for base
personal desires, that is a
breach of ethical standards. In the martial arts, this breach is
especially severe for several reasons.
Many women are vulnerable when they begin their study of martial arts;
a recent divorce,
a personal violent attack, or events in the community such as a serial
killer at large are all
common reasons for women to begin martial arts training. Therefore, an
instructor who takes
advantage of this sort of situation is essentially engaging in a form of
emotional/sexual abuse.
Another reason centers around the role and status of the instructor,
which has largely been
defined by the Asian cultures in which martial arts find their origins.
Generally speaking, the
system of instruction is designed so that students revere their
instructors; this means that the
student is impressionable and at a low level in a hierarchy. Even if a
more intimate relationship is
consensual, therefore, the consequence is that what should be a personal
relationship based upon
equality is unbalanced from the beginning. You cannot honestly have
equality when one partner
is the authority figure.
Yet another reason centers around teaching competence; an instructor's
professional
teaching judgement is compromised when he is sexually or emotionally
involved with a student.
Ask instructors who have taught members of their immediate family if it
wasn't exceptionally
difficult. The loss of objectivity makes them less effective as
instructors and generally creates
stress between the teacher and the student.
These are all solid reasons why you should not become sexually involved
with your
martial arts instructor, and why advances on the part of the instructor
are inappropriate.
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HOW CAN I AVOID HARASSMENT?
Here are some methods to see the signs of possible harassment so you
can keep yourself
from getting in Jane's situation.
Establish high expectations. Your martial arts instructor should
impress you as a person
of strong character deserving of respect, like a physician or any other
professional. Trust your gut
instincts; if you don't get that feeling, you're probably at the wrong
place.
Talk to the other female students in the class. Ask them questions,
directly or indirectly,
to determine their opinions of the instructor's personal character as
well as their personal level of
involvement with the teacher. If there are no female students, ask the
instructor "why" and
evaluate his response.
Watch a class before you sign up. Look for great disparities in the
abilities and ranks of
students based upon gender. In other words, does a male green belt
(beginner) appear to be far
more effective and proficient than a female black belt? This is an
important indicator, since
trading ranks for sex is one of the most common methods unscrupulous
instructors use to reward
that "special" student.
Talk to the male students in the class. Try to get their opinions of
the abilities of the
senior female students. If they are impressed with the abilities of a
senior female student and feel
she has something to teach them, the instruction is probably legitimate.
If they leave you with the
feeling that the senior female student couldn't fight her way out of a
paper bag, you are probably
at the wrong place--regardless of sexual implications.
Check with consumer protection groups. As with any service business,
organizations such
as the Better Business Bureau can provide information regarding past
complaints.
Finally, do not sign any long-term contracts until you have been at the
school for at least
six months. This will enable you to personally evaluate the instructor's
behavior, school stability,
quality of instruction, and how much you enjoy and are willing to
dedicate to the practice of
martial arts. With the right instructor, committing to the martial arts
will be one of the most
fascinating, rewarding, and life-enriching experiences you can pursue.
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